1
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,830
YES, YES.

2
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,765
I SEE.

3
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,067
ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOT IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

4
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:26,802
YES YES, I SEE. YES.

5
00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:28,704
FINE. WELL, GET BACK TO
ME AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

6
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:31,608
THANK YOU.

7
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,176
ANOTHER BULLETIN, SIR.

8
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,711
THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER
IS ALMOST FROZEN OVER,

9
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:38,014
AND SNOW FLURRIES ARE
STARTING TO FALL AT THE EQUATOR.

10
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,082
GOOD GRIEF, COLONEL
QUINTON, THIS IS FRIGHTENING.

11
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,084
- GENERAL CHRISTIAN.
- YES, ADMIRAL CRICHTON.

12
00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,554
I'VE JUST HAD A COMMUNIQUE,
SIR, STATING THAT THE RESERVOIRS

13
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,157
IN THE NEW YORK STATE
AREA ARE FROZEN SOLID.

14
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,026
IN NEW YORK CITY ALONE,
MANHATTAN, THE BRONX AND BROOKLYN

15
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,861
- ARE HAVING
A DRINKING PROBLEM.
- HOW ABOUT FLUSHING?

16
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,285
I BELIEVE THEY'RE HAVING A
LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THAT TOO, SIR.

17
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,238
GENERAL CHRISTIAN SPEAKING.

18
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,106
GENERAL, THIS IS THE
CHIEF OF CONTROL.

19
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,108
I'M IN MIAMI, AND I WON'T
BE ABLE TO GET OUT

20
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,110
BECAUSE WE'RE
UNDER 12 FEET OF SNOW.

21
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:09,746
- THAT'S BAD.
- LET ME TALK
TO HIM, CHIEF.

22
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:12,982
HELLO, GENERAL. THIS IS MAXWELL
SMART. I'M STUCK DOWN HERE TOO.

23
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,706
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

24
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,389
I'M ASSIGNING
AGENT 99 TO THE CASE

25
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,457
AND THE C.I.A. IS SENDING
ONE OF THEIR TOP MEN.

26
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:24,594
THEY SHOULD BE REPORTING
ANY MINUTE. GOOD LUCK.

27
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,430
- WHAT'S BAD, SIR?
- THE CHIEF OF CONTROL
IS ON A SPECIAL CASE

28
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,499
- IN MIAMI BEACH.
- WHAT'S GOOD, SIR?

29
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,334
MAXWELL SMART IS WITH HIM.

30
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:34,437
HOW I ENVY HIM. NOW'S A
GOOD TIME TO BE IN MIAMI.

31
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,105
I'M AFRAID NOT.

32
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:38,575
MIAMI BEACH IS UNDER
12 FEET OF SNOW.

33
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,244
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, SIR?
- HE'S ASSIGNED ONE OF HIS
TOP AGENTS TO THE CASE

34
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,246
AND THE C.I.A. IS SENDING
ONE OF THEIR TOP MEN.

35
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,814
THEY SHOULD BE HERE
ALMOST ANY MINUTE.

36
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:48,251
GENTLEMEN, IF THESE
AGENTS CAN'T STOP THIS

37
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,953
WE ARE ON THE VERGE
OF ANOTHER ICE AGE.

38
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,726
- YES.
- Man:<i> Control Agent 99</i>
and CIA. Agent Quigley

39
00:01:56,750 --> 00:02:00,051
- <i>are here, sir.</i>
- GOOD, SEND 'EM
RIGHT IN.

40
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,103
HOW DO YOU DO, QUIGLEY, 99?

41
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,240
I'M GENERAL CHRISTIAN, COLONEL
QUINTON, ADMIRAL CRICHTON.

42
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:13,776
- GENERAL CRICHTON. ADMIRAL...
- CHRISTIAN.

43
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,878
- ADMIRAL CHRISTIAN.
- NO, I'M CHRISTIAN.

44
00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:19,449
- OH, YOU'RE
ADMIRAL CHRISTIAN.
- I'M GENERAL CHRISTIAN.

45
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,850
OH, THEN YOU MUST
BE COLONEL CRICHTON.

46
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,451
NO, I'M QUINTON.

47
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,253
ADMIRAL QUINTON.

48
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:27,023
NO, HE'S COLONEL QUINTON.

49
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,459
QUIGLEY, THE GENERAL'S
NAME IS CHRISTIAN.

50
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,128
<i>THE ADMIRAL'S NAME IS CRICHTON
AND THE COLONEL'S NAME IS QUINTON.</i>

51
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,663
HI, FELLAS.

52
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,699
NOW SUPPOSE WE GET TO THE, UH...

53
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,767
PROBLEM AT HAND.

54
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,269
NOW, 99, QUIGLEY,

55
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:41,838
THE ENTIRE WORLD

56
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,974
IS AT THE MERCY OF A MADMAN.

57
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,975
HAVE YOU HEARD OF
PROFESSOR STANISLAVSKI?

58
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,944
WASN'T HE THE POLISH
SCIENTIST WHO SAID

59
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,146
HE HAD SOME METHOD FOR
FREEZING OVER THE WORLD?

60
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,248
OH, YEAH, THE
STANISLAVSKI METHOD.

61
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,250
HE TRIED TO SELL IT TO
EVERY NATION IN THE WORLD,

62
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:57,454
- BUT NO ONE WOULD
BELIEVE HIM.
- HE'S SUCCEEDING NOW.

63
00:02:57,478 --> 00:03:00,490
NOW WE BELIEVE HE'S OPERATING
FROM AN UNDERGROUND LABORATORY

64
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,126
UP HERE NEAR THE NORTH POLE.

65
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:06,363
- UH, RIGHT UP...
- RIGHT HERE, GENERAL.

66
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,897
HERE, GENERAL.

67
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,733
- ARE WE ALONE
ON THIS ASSIGNMENT?
- OH NO, 99.

68
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:13,236
EVERY NATION IN THE WORLD
IS JOINING FORCES IN ORDER

69
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:16,306
TO DO WHAT MUST BE
DONE TO STOP THIS MADMAN.

70
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,708
RUSSIA IS STANDING BY
WITH NUCLEAR SUBMARINES.

71
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,743
GREAT BRITAIN HAS
OFFERED US AIR COVER.

72
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:24,580
SOUTH AMERICA HAS OFFERED THE
KNOWLEDGE OF ITS TOP GERMAN SCIENTISTS.

73
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,739
AND ISRAEL IS MAKING
SANDWICHES FOR THE TRIP.

74
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,020
NOW IN THIS ENVELOPE

75
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,357
IS THE EXACT LOCATION OF PROFESSOR
STANISLAVSKI'S UNDERGROUND LABORATORY.

76
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,059
I WANT YOU TO GUARD
THAT WITH YOUR LIFE.

77
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,094
I PROMISE YOU, THIS ENVELOPE

78
00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,419
WILL NEVER LEAVE MY HANDS.

79
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:48,103
I DIDN'T PROMISE ABOUT
THE MAP. I JUST SAID...

80
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:50,640
TAKE THESE ALONG WITH YOU, QUIGLEY.
THEY'RE SCIENTIFICALLY TREATED

81
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,108
SO THAT THEY WILL INSULATE
YOU AGAINST THE COLD.

82
00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:56,312
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- NOW ARE YOU TO LEAVE
IMMEDIATELY

83
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:57,980
FOR WOLF JAW, CANADA.

84
00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:00,516
THERE YOU WILL GO TO
THE YELLOW DOG SALOON

85
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,385
WHERE YOU WILL BE CONTACTED
AND GIVEN FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.

86
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,289
GOODBYE, GENERAL
QUINTON, ADMIRAL CHRISTIAN,

87
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,224
- COLONEL...
- FELLAS.

88
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,194
- FELLAS.
- NOW REMEMBER, QUIGLEY,

89
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,563
THE ENTIRE WORLD
IS DEPENDING ON YOU.

90
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,254
IT COULDN'T BE IN BETTER HANDS.

91
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,021
OH, I'M SO FROZEN,

92
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:48,157
I DON'T THINK I'LL
EVER THAW OUT.

93
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,861
- MAYBE YOU CAN BE NEXT
IN THE STOVE.
- HUH?

94
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:55,432
THAT'S ONE OF
OUR MEN... AGENT 44.

95
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:56,832
IS THAT YOU, 44?

96
00:05:56,856 --> 00:06:00,236
WELL, IT AIN'T DANIEL WEBSTER.

97
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,871
HELLO, 99.

98
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,340
- HOW ARE THE TWINS?
- OH, THEY'RE FINE, 44.

99
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,242
MY MOTHER'S TAKING CARE OF THEM.

100
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,110
MAX IS ON AN
ASSIGNMENT IN FLORIDA.

101
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,947
SO THIS IS AGENT
QUIGLEY AT THE C.I.A.

102
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,816
NICE TO MEET YOU.

103
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,351
SAY, HOW DO YOU STAND
ALL THAT HEAT IN THERE?

104
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,487
I'M WEARING BERMUDA SHORTS.

105
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:20,923
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE
ON THIS ASSIGNMENT, 44.

106
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,325
WHAT ARE OUR INSTRUCTIONS?

107
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:25,362
YOU'RE TO GO TO THE
BAR AND ORDER A BEER.

108
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,665
THEN BRING IT BACK HERE AND I'LL
GIVE YOU FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.

109
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,623
- ROGER. I'LL DO IT, 99. YOU WAIT HERE.
- RIGHT.

110
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,164
ONE BEER.

111
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,846
SAY, 99, WOULD YOU LIKE...

112
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:46,704
CAN I... ANOTHER ONE, PLEASE.

113
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,648
ANOTHER ONE, PLEASE.

114
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,390
SAY, WHAT'S HOLDING THAT BEER?

115
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,565
THANK YOU.

116
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,371
HERE, 44. DON'T DROP IT.

117
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,581
AHHHH!

118
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,932
- IS THERE A SECRET MESSAGE
IN THERE OR SOMETHING?
- NO.

119
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:40,002
- WELL, WHAT DID YOU
WANT THE BEER FOR?
- I WAS THIRSTY.

120
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,938
WHAT'S OUR NEXT MOVE, 44?

121
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,042
SEE THOSE TWO CANADIAN MOUNTIES
AT THE TABLE UNDER THE MOOSE?

122
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,878
- Both: YES.
- THEY'VE BEEN ASSIGNED
TO GUIDE YOU

123
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,948
TO PROFESSOR STANISLAVSKI'S
SECRET LABORATORY.

124
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,951
IDENTIFY YOURSELVES
WITH THE PASSWORDS

125
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,352
"WHEN I'M CALLING YOU."

126
00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:59,655
- IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
- YES.

127
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,213
CLOSE THE DOORS.
I'M GETTING A DRAFT.

128
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:13,169
WHEN I'M CALLING YOU.

129
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,273
IT'S SIEGFRIED AND STARKER.

130
00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:20,310
WELL, IT AIN'T NELSON EDDY

131
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,846
AND JEANETTE MacDONALD, COOKIE.

132
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,215
LOOK, SMART, IF YOU
HAD TO PICK A DISGUISE,

133
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,851
WHY DID YOU PICK SUCH
A DOPEY-LOOKING ONE?

134
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,720
I'M NOT SMART FROM CONTROL.

135
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,656
- WHO ARE YOU?
- I'M DOPEY FROM...

136
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,825
I'M QUIGLEY FROM INTELLIGENCE.

137
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,061
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THOSE UNIFORMS?

138
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,763
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT ARE
WE DOING IN THESE UNIFORMS?

139
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,832
THEY ARE OUR UNIFORMS.

140
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,967
YOU MEAN KAOS HAS
CHANGED ITS UNIFORMS?

141
00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:46,836
NO, WE ARE MEMBERS

142
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,905
OF THE ROYAL CANADIAN
MOUNTED POLICE.

143
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,141
- YOU ARE?
- THAT'S RIGHT.

144
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,644
AND WE ALWAYS GET OUR MAN.

145
00:08:56,969 --> 00:09:00,049
STARKER.

146
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,286
- DOO-DOO.
- THIS IS NOT KAOS
ANYMORE.

147
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,322
WE DON'T "DOO-DOO" HERE.

148
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:09,325
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL US
YOU'RE NOT WITH KAOS ANYMORE?

149
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:12,628
OH YEAH, WE HAD TO QUIT. WE'RE
GETTING TOO OLD FOR VIOLENCE.

150
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,630
THE COLLEGE KIDS
ARE TAKING OVER.

151
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:18,167
NOW WE ARE THE GOOD GUYS.

152
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,037
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY DON'T EXPECT
US TO BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE MOUNTIES.

153
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,505
YOU BET YOUR SWEET
KLONDIKE WE DO.

154
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:26,876
- WELL, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
- YOU HAVE NO CHOICE
BUT TO BELIEVE US.

155
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,879
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, WHO
WILL TAKE THAT MAP OF YOURS

156
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,881
AND GUIDE YOU
THROUGH THE WILDERNESS

157
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,350
TO PROFESSOR
STANISLAVSKI'SLABORATORY?

158
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,352
WE'VE DECIDED TO
TRUST YOU, SIEGFRIED.

159
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:40,322
YOU WON'T REGRET IT. WE START
IMMEDIATELY. WHERE'S YOUR DOGSLED?

160
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:43,092
- WE'RE PARKED
RIGHT OUTSIDE.
- NEXT TO THE HYDRANT.

161
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,195
AND NOW IF YOU'LL HAND ME
THE MAP, WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY.

162
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:49,532
OKAY. HERE YOU ARE.

163
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:52,134
GOOD, AND SEEING AS
I'M LEADING THE WAY,

164
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,936
I'LL HOLD ON TO THE MAP.

165
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,506
NOT SO FAST. SO YOU
WON'T DO ANYTHING FUNNY,

166
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,764
I'M GOING TO HOLD
ON TO THE ENVELOPE.

167
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:04,147
UH-HUH, YES.

168
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:06,215
AS BAD AS ALL THAT, HUH?

169
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,051
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL
GET BACK TO YOU.

170
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,619
- WHO WAS THAT, SIR?
- LOS ANGELES.

171
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,288
DON'T TELL ME IT'S
SNOWING THERE TOO.

172
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:15,257
EITHER THAT OR
THE SMOG IS FROZEN.

173
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,259
AHA, THAT TRACKING DEVICE WE PUT

174
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,428
INTO QUIGLEY'S GLOVE IS WORKING.

175
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,931
OH, VERY GOOD.

176
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,801
LATITUDE AND LONGITUDE.

177
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,072
AHEM. THAT WOULD PUT
HIM RIGHT AROUND THERE.

178
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:44,520
AGENT 99, YOU SLEEP IN ONE TENT,

179
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,956
AND QUIGLEY AND I
WILL SLEEP IN THE OTHER.

180
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,826
- WHAT ABOUT STARKER?
- STARKER SLEEPS
WITH THE DOGS.

181
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,262
- YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
- WHY NOT?

182
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,830
THE DOGS DON'T MIND.

183
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:57,166
YOU TWO MAKE
YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE.

184
00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:00,169
STARKER AND I WILL
UNLOAD THE SLEDS.

185
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,360
STARKER!

186
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:06,831
UNLOAD THE SLEDS!

187
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:15,050
QUIGLEY, DO YOU REALIZE THIS IS
THE FIRST TIME WE'VE BEEN ALONE?

188
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,286
WELL, WHAT DID
YOU HAVE IN MIND, 99?

189
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,755
NOW WE CAN USE THE RADIO AND
FIND OUT IF SIEGFRIED AND STARKER

190
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:21,524
ARE REALLY MOUNTED POLICE.

191
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,659
OH YES, BUT DO YOU REALIZE
HOW MUCH POWER IT'D TAKE

192
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,661
TO REACH THE PENTAGON FROM HERE?

193
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,663
OH NO, QUIGLEY, WE DON'T
HAVE TO CALL THE PENTAGON.

194
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,366
THERE'S A MOUNTED POLICE
STATION IN WHITEHORSE.

195
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,768
THAT'S PRETTY FAR TOO, BUT
IT'S WORTH TAKING A CHANCE.

196
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,125
- WHERE'S
THE SNOWSHOE PHONE?
- RIGHT HERE.

197
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,542
HURRY, QUIGLEY.

198
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:43,278
THIS IS AGENT QUIGLEY CALLING ROYAL
MOUNTED HEADQUARTERS IN WHITEHORSE.

199
00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:44,947
COME IN, WHITEHORSE.

200
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,949
- I THINK THEY'RE
COMING THROUGH.
- GOOD.

201
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:50,619
THIS IS AGENT QUIGLEY. LOOK, I
WANNA CHECK OUT AND FIND OUT

202
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,556
IF YOU HAVE AN OFFICER STARKER

203
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:56,859
AND OFFICER SIEGFRIED.

204
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,061
IS THIS WHITEHORSE?

205
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:01,630
OH, WELL, THANKS ANYWAY.

206
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:05,100
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- I TOLD YOU IT WOULDN'T
REACH THAT FAR.

207
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:08,270
- HOW FAR DID IT REACH?
- THE SLED. I WAS TALKING
TO SIEGFRIED.

208
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:11,740
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
THEY STILL DON'T TRUST US.

209
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:14,109
HMM, I WONDER WHY NOT.

210
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,545
YOU THINK MAYBE THEY
KNOW WE'RE GONNA KILL THEM?

211
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,781
HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY
KNOW A THING LIKE THAT?

212
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:21,086
LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THEIR MAP.

213
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,591
OH YEAH, WE SHOULD REACH

214
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,893
PROFESSOR
STANISLAVSKI'S LABORATORY

215
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,896
IN EXACTLY 23 HOURS

216
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,465
AND A HALF.

217
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:39,402
GOOD, THEN WE KILL
AGENT QUIGLEY AND 99 NOW.

218
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,604
PUT AWAY THAT GUN, STARKER.

219
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,373
WE'LL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT.

220
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,608
WE'RE NOT GOING TO KILL THEM?

221
00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:49,946
MOTHER NATURE WILL
DO IT FOR US, HMM?

222
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,647
WE WILL SLIP AWAY

223
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,049
DURING THE NIGHT.

224
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:56,084
AND WHEN THEY WAKE
UP TOMORROW MORNING...

225
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,276
THEY'LL BE DEAD.

226
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,632
QUIGLEY!

227
00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:14,025
OH, OH!

228
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:18,741
QUIGLEY, QUIGLEY, WAKE UP.

229
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,077
LOOK, THE TENT'S GONE...

230
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:22,678
THE DOGS, THE SLED.

231
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,947
AND SIEGFRIED AND STARKER.

232
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,982
THEY'VE LEFT US HERE
WITHOUT ANYTHING.

233
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,984
THEY'VE STRANDED US HERE TO DIE.

234
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:31,787
- WELL, THAT JUST
PROVES IT.
- WHAT?

235
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,856
THEY'RE NOT MOUNTIES.

236
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,893
LOOK, IT'S SIEGFRIED
AND STARKER'S TRACKS.

237
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,961
RIGHT, IF WE FOLLOW
THOSE TRACKS,

238
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,864
IT'LL LEAD US RIGHT TO PROFESSOR
STANISLAVSKI'S LABORATORY.

239
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,400
BUT WE'D BETTER HURRY UP BEFORE
THE SNOW COVERS THOSE TRACKS.

240
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:47,202
- WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?
- YESTERDAY, ONE OF THEM

241
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,204
FELL RIGHT INTO THE
WATER THROUGH THE ICE.

242
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:52,074
- WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE OTHER ONE?
- ONE OF THE DOGS ATE IT.

243
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:54,810
ARE YOU SURE YOUR INFORMATION
IS CORRECT, GENTLEMEN?

244
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,079
POSITIVE, GENERAL.
ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE.

245
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,615
ACCORDING TO THE POSITION
OF MY TRACKING GLOVE,

246
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,183
QUIGLEY AND 99

247
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,608
SHOULD BE GOING
OVER NIAGARA FALLS.

248
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:06,388
WHAT ABOUT YOU, QUINTON?

249
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:09,372
I'VE GOT THEM INSIDE A
DOG KENNEL IN QUEBEC, SIR.

250
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,468
<i>QUIGLEY, I DON'T THINK</i>

251
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,470
<i>I CAN TAKE ANOTHER STEP.</i>

252
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,271
LET'S GET A LITTLE REST

253
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:26,308
AND MAYBE THAT WILL
RENEW OUR STRENGTH.

254
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,966
OH, I'M SO SLEEPY.

255
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,816
OW!

256
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,619
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- NOTHING.

257
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:39,822
- I JUST HIT MY HEAD
ON AN IGLOO.
- OH.

258
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,366
Both: AN IGLOO!

259
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,032
COME ON.

260
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:05,703
HELP, SOMEBODY HELP US!

261
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,607
LOOK AT THIS.

262
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,148
LOOK AT THAT.

263
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:35,499
OH, SORRY, QUIGLEY.

264
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:04,473
THIS IS THE SECRET LABORATORY
OF PROFESSOR STANISLAVSKI.

265
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:08,210
CORRECTION, COOKIE,

266
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:12,269
THIS IS THE LABORATORY OF THE<i>
LATE</i> PROFESSOR STANISLAVSKI.

267
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:17,686
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO
FAMISHED MY WHOLE LIFE.

268
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,322
ME EITHER. IT'S JUST DELICIOUS.

269
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:23,258
- WHAT IS THAT, STARKER?
- PENGUINS.

270
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:26,228
- PENGUINS?
- JA, PENGUINS.

271
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,196
WE FIND 'EM RIGHT OUTSIDE HERE.

272
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,232
WE TAKE OFF THEIR
LITTLE BOW TIES

273
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:33,096
AND THEIR LITTLE WHITE
SHIRTS. THEN WE COOKS 'EM.

274
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,075
THEY'RE ALL FINISHED
EATING, SIEGFRIED.

275
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:42,277
GOOD. CLEAN UP THE TABLE.

276
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,146
WHAT DO I DO WITH THE BONES?

277
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,748
DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO.

278
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,217
BRING IN ONE OF THE
DOGS FROM THE SLED,

279
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,385
DEFROST HIM, FEED HIM,

280
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:51,786
THEN FREEZE HIM UP AGAIN.

281
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:54,957
- YOU FREEZE YOUR DOGS?
- OF COURSE.

282
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:56,625
BUT IS THAT HEALTHY FOR THEM?

283
00:16:56,649 --> 00:17:00,218
HEALTHY? GO FEEL HOW
COLD THEIR NOSES ARE.

284
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,854
STARKER...

285
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,577
IT'S NOT THAT WE'RE NOT
GRATEFUL FOR THE FOOD,

286
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,847
BUT WHY IN THE WORLD
DID YOU HAVE TO DO AWAY

287
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,015
WITH PROFESSOR STANISLAVSKI?

288
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,385
WELL, WE HAD NO FURTHER
USE FOR THE PROFESSOR.

289
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,287
AND NOW HIS LABORATORY

290
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:28,657
AND HIS DISCOVERIES
BELONG TO KAOS.

291
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:29,992
BUT WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO WITH IT?

292
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,094
TO BEGIN WITH,

293
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:33,829
WE'RE GOING TO FREEZE

294
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:36,365
THE UNITED STATES!

295
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:40,136
AND WHEN IT IS
COMPLETELY FROZEN OVER,

296
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,604
KAOS' ELITE ICE SKATING TROOPS

297
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:46,008
WILL SKATE IN AND CONQUER IT.

298
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,677
KAOS HAS AN ICE SKATING TROUPE?

299
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,580
OH JA, THE KAOS CAPADES.

300
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,549
SIEGFRIED, MAYBE IT'S
NONE OF MY BUSINESS,

301
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,418
BUT BY WHAT METHOD WAS
PROFESSOR STANISLAVSKI

302
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:58,887
ABLE TO BRING THAT
ARCTIC WEATHER

303
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,989
TO THE REST OF THE WORLD RIGHT
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SUMMER?

304
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,359
THE STANISLAVSKI METHOD.

305
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,361
A METHOD SO SIMPLE,

306
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,029
YET SO EFFECTIVE

307
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:09,832
THAT IT STAGGERS
THE IMAGINATION.

308
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:12,034
LOOK.

309
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,725
QUIGLEY, IT'S A
GIANT ELECTRIC FAN.

310
00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:21,143
THAT INFORMATION
WILL DO YOU NO GOOD.

311
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,212
WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU.

312
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,280
JUST HOW DO YOU PLAN TO DO THAT?

313
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:28,116
WE'RE GOING TO PUT YOU
BACK INSIDE THE IGLOO,

314
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,286
BLOCK THE ENTRANCE
SO YOU CAN'T ESCAPE.

315
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,977
YOU WILL BE ENTOMBED FOREVER.

316
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,425
AND WHILE YOU ARE DYING,

317
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,228
THE GIANT FAN ON TOP
OF THE IGLOO WILL BE...

318
00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:48,303
- WELL.
- WELL WHAT?

319
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:51,273
WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY,

320
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,943
"STARKER, STARKER...

321
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,979
THIS IS KAOS.

322
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,914
WE DON'T... HERE."

323
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:02,718
NO, UP HERE IN THE ARCTIC

324
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,719
YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING.

325
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:08,557
GET INSIDE THERE.

326
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,158
THERE'S SOMETHING THAT I DEMAND

327
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,761
BEFORE YOU SEAL
US INSIDE THAT IGLOO.

328
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,796
WHAT WILL YOU DEMAND?

329
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,600
I DEMAND THAT YOU DON'T
SEAL US UP IN THE IGLOO.

330
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,004
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

331
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,139
OH, THAT I UNDERSTAND.

332
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,097
GET IN THERE!

333
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:32,515
- COME ON!
- GOOD WORK, QUIGLEY.

334
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:36,318
WE DON'T HAVE ANY GUNS,
QUIGLEY. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

335
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,243
STARKER...

336
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,594
LISTEN, YOU GO AROUND THAT WAY.

337
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,529
I'LL GO AROUND THIS WAY.

338
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,864
BE CAREFUL, SIEGFRIED.

339
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,801
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"BE CAREFUL," YOU SISSY?

340
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,185
THEY HAVE NO GUNS.
WHAT CAN THEY DO?

341
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,263
BESIDES THAT?

342
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,699
EXCUSE ME, SIEGFRIED.

343
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:27,224
WHERE COULD THEY HAVE GONE?

344
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,862
STARKER.

345
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:37,045
- I DON'T THINK IT WAS A VERY
GOOD IDEA TO HIDE IN HERE.
- SHH! SHH!

346
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,830
Siegfried: <i>HURRY,
STARKER, SEAL THE TUNNEL.</i>

347
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:57,088
TUNNEL SEALED.

348
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:01,358
PREPARE THE SLEDS.

349
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,807
- WHAT ABOUT THE DOGS?
- WE DON'T NEED THE DOGS.

350
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:08,946
WE'RE GOING SOUTH, JA?
IT'S DOWNHILL ALL THE WAY.

351
00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:09,278
JA.

352
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:12,547
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
WE CAN'T GET OUT NOW.

353
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:14,550
TRY AND LOOK ON
THE BRIGHT SIDE, 99.

354
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:17,085
- WHAT'S THAT?
- THEY CAN'T GET IN.

355
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,154
OH!

356
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:21,322
Siegfried: <i>MUSH!</i>

357
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:23,758
- <i>MUSH!</i>
- LISTEN.

358
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:26,661
MUSH!

359
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:28,252
MUSH!

360
00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:31,734
WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT
THERE AND STOP THAT FAN.

361
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:33,869
- BUT HOW CAN WE?
- I DON'T KNOW.

362
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,926
MAYBE I CAN KICK THIS OPEN.

363
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,097
NO, THAT WON'T WORK.

364
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:49,051
IT'S NO GOOD, QUIGLEY.
THIS ICE IS LIKE STEEL.

365
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:51,953
IT'S SO FRUSTRATING.

366
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,455
QUIGLEY, YOU DID IT.

367
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:56,447
COME ON, LET'S GO
OUT AND STOP THAT FAN.

368
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:13,942
THERE'S NO SWITCH OUT HERE.

369
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,944
IT MUST BE CONTROLLED
BY A POWER TRANSMITTER

370
00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:19,381
- SOMEWHERE HIDDEN
UNDERGROUND.
- LOOK, OUR SUPPLIES!

371
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:22,184
OH, 99, HOW CAN YOU THINK
OF FOOD AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

372
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:23,985
WE'VE GOTTA STOP THAT FAN!

373
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,522
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WE BROUGHT DYNAMITE.

374
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,023
RIGHT, THE DYNAMITE.

375
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:31,382
- WE CAN BLOW
THAT THING SKY HIGH.
- QUICK.

376
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,702
HURRY, QUIGLEY.

377
00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:43,772
- ARE YOU READY?
- READY.

378
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:46,763
HURRY. OH!

379
00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:49,945
COME ON, LET'S GO.

380
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:52,836
- QUIGLEY, YOU HAVE
THE DYNAMITE IN YOUR HAND.
- THE DYNAMITE.

381
00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,307
RUN!

382
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,798
- WE DID IT.
- THAT DID IT.

383
00:23:09,822 --> 00:23:12,868
THAT ENDS PROFESSOR
STANISLAVSKI'S MAD SCHEME.

384
00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,003
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, QUIGLEY.

385
00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:17,138
I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL
MAX AND THE CHIEF.

386
00:23:17,162 --> 00:23:19,007
YEAH, AND GENERAL QUINTON

387
00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:21,577
- AND ADMIRAL CHRISTIAN...
- NO, THE GENERAL'S NAME
IS CHRISTIAN.

388
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:22,911
THE ADMIRAL'S NAME IS CRICHTON.

389
00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:26,348
- I THOUGHT QUIGLEY WAS...
- NO, YOU'RE QUIGLEY.

390
00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:28,539
Both: THE FELLAS.